Ned's Blog

Did you ever wonder?

Saturday, 15 Jul, 2017

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop 'Windows'?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?

Why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why your Obstetrician or Gynecologist leaves the room when you get undressed - if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why Goofy stands erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "a terminal" if flying is supposedly so safe?

Why the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, but can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why it is when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

How come we put a man on the moon before realizing it would be a good idea to put wheels on suitcases?

Why brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever?

How important someone has to be before they can be 'assassinated' rather than just plain 'murdered'?

Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?

Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why people say they "slept like a baby", when babies normally wake up every two hours?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

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Welcome to Ned's Blog.
I'm Ned and I could qualify as a grumpy old man because I'm the right age, the right gender and I'm grumpy about things that annoy me. I enjoy a little humour and the young'uns tell me that I'm "opinionated" - whatever that means.
I hope you enjoy my writings because I need the money!

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